My family is blessed, at the moment, by a lovely new face. She is the beautiful girl who is currently involved with my youngest son. She is smart, talented, kind, sweet, gorgeous and engaging. So what, you ask, could possibly be the problem?
Well….nothing that has to do with her. It’s just that at this point in my life, I am leery of falling in love.
There have been other beautiful young women, and wonderful young men, who have come to our house as the “significant other” of one of our children. I have been welcoming and warm, perhaps to a fault. I have taken those other “others” in, and fed them and cared for them and loved them. And then I have grieved when those relationships ended. I keep my memories of those “lost” loves in my heart, even though I know that I should be letting them go.
And so, here we are again. Another wonderful, thoughtful, loving young person has come to our house with one of our kids. I have made dinner, poured wine, cleaned the living room, put away laundry. I have chatted, made small talk, made dessert. I am not sure what I am supposed to do next.
In a perfect world, where intellect ruled over emotion, I would hold myself back, keep cool and detached and overlook the sweet exchanges between this young woman and my son. I would understand that love at this age is fleeting and uncertain. I would harden my heart and refuse to smile.
In my world, the one where I really live, I watch my boy as he holds the hand of a shining, glowing, glorious young woman. I chat with her about her plans and her dreams, and I fall into the enchantment of wanting to keep her for our own. I watch him watching her; I note how she lights up as she takes his arm.
Once again, I am taken by a new face, a face that shines with love for one of mine. Once again, I am shaped by my true nature, and I embrace that new face and take her into my heart.
Once again, I am an emotional hostage to a new face.