….the American people, are a really big group. There are lots of us. We tried, but we couldn’t all fit around the table at Dunkin Donuts. There are so many of us that we can’t even fit in a big conference room. Or Dodgers Stadium. Or the Grand Canyon.
Do you get it? We’re a big, big pile of folks. We come in a whole bunch of colors, shapes and sizes, too. If you could somehow manage to cram us all into one place, we would hardly recognize each other! Some of us are chubby middle aged white women with plastic bifocals on. Some are tall, skinny black men wearing three piece suits. We’re brown, we’re pink, we’re young, we’re old enough to remember when Truman was in charge.
We like baseball, except for those of us who don’t. We adore country music, except for the huge group of us who hate country music and only listen to metal. We have PhD’s and we dropped out of the eight grade. We have ten different words for a big cold cut sandwich on a long piece of bread.
We all live within these borders. That part’s true. But we are NOT a club. We aren’t all Democrat or Republican. We aren’t all liberal or conservative. We don’t all agree about the best way to solve the debt crisis, how to tax big corporations, how to fix Social Security, who will win the next election or the World Series, or how to grill the perfect steak. Hell, a lot of us don’t even eat steak!!
So…..American politicians. Please pay attention. You really, really, really have to STOP saying “The American people” in sentences like “The American people understand that the Conservative plan put forth by the House is the best way to go forward.” (Yes, I did just hear those precise words on CNN.) Or, “The American people agree that we need to increase revenues.” (I heard something just like that from the President yesterday). Stop trying to quote us. Stop trying to convince us that we agree with you. We can’t agree on one single thing!!
Wait, that’s not true. Here is one statement that you can use in any setting, no matter which party you belong to:
“The American people are sick and tired of the sniping, moaning, name calling and finger pointing. The American people, the whole big noisy bunch of them, are overwhelmingly in favor of having government officials act like grown ups who actually know what they are doing. The American people want the government to stop shouting, start listening, make some compromises and get the damn job done.”
Karen, self appointed spokesperson for the American People.