Like glass


Sometimes I feel like I am made of glass.  Clear, clean, smudge free glass.

You see, I have noticed lately that I am invisible.

I can sit in my classroom, correcting papers at a table filled with fifth graders, and yet they forget that I am there.  I learn a lot about what they think, what they like, WHO they like, what they fear and what they wish.  I am there, but not seen.

Lately I have noticed that this phenomenon is happening more and more, wherever I go.  I can cook a meal, serve it and clean it up, then simply disappear like a phantom vapor so that the diner can settle down with paperwork.

I can ask in what used to be my usual outspoken way for help, or support, or companionship.  And somehow, in this new world, my words make no sound.

I feel like glass.

I feel as fragile as a glass vase, as breakable as a glass slipper.

I miss my old loud, visible self. I miss the smudges and smears, the substance of myself. I miss the days when I was really truly there, and no one simply walked past without seeing me.


11 thoughts on “Like glass

  1. I don’t know how old you are, but I noticed the same phenomenon when I was in my fifties. I simply became invisible. In my sixties, I now feel that I am now more visible again. Go figure…?


  2. Really??
    Thank you!! I am almost 56, and part of my invisibility is around my upcoming birthday, I think. What a whiny old lady I am becoming!
    Thanks for making me feel heard, if not seen!


  3. This is also one of the extremes in my life. Either everyone is looking for me, needing something, wanting to talk or I’m invisible. Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse. I think I would like to be somewhere in-between or at least have the ability to decide which one I would like to be. Alas that is something the universe has control over not me. I really enjoyed your post. Once I’ve got this next essay in the bag I want to pop back and read more. You sound like a lady I can relate to. 😉


    • Thanks for reading, and for your comment. I know EXACTLY what you mean! I am invisible until the moment when something is needed, then I temporarily gain substance. But you are so right; it is not under our control to decide how we are seen, only how we react. Clearly, I have been reacting with a pout!


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