I wish I had been born in the Victorian Age. I probably wouldn’t have loved the corsets or the lack of indoor plumbing, but I think I could get into the swooning part. I would enjoy spending a few hours, or days, on a couch in a darkened room, with lavender water in a cloth over my eyes.
It might be nice to be seen as too fragile and nervous to face every day life. A Victorian Lady was allowed to take to her bed with the vapors every now and then, just from hearing bad news.
That sounds good to me right about now.
You see, lately I have been struggling with a real sense of melancholy. Life is feeling like a challenge.
I am not depressed: that implies a longer, deeper and more profound feeling than what ails me.
I am not really sad; life is full and rich and all is well in my world.
I’m just……melancholy. I miss my babies, as anyone who has ever stumbled by this blog surely knows. I miss the days of active motherhood far more than I ever thought I would, and with far more sorrow that I anticipated. But its more than that. I miss my father, especially around my birthday. I miss his voice. I miss his brown eyes. I miss the fact of his existence.
I am melancholy for my past. I want a chance to play with my brothers and sisters again. I want to run through the sprinkler and get in the station wagon and go on vacation.
I am wistful for friends who have retired, moved away, grown distant. I am missing my school as it used to be in all its creative glory. In the old days before all the tests and standards and rubrics. I miss those days.
And I have been on the edge of such sad stories, too. Unexpected death in the very young, loss and illness and sadness. I am watching friends as they try to cope with the unthinkable. It drags on my soul, after a while.
So I am finding it harder and harder to just keep going , to just keep pushing through the demands of every day. But what’s my choice? I would feel weak if I had to miss work or skip the grocery shopping or fail to walk the dogs. In 2012, a woman needs to just chin up and keep on plugging. A modern, progressive, professional woman can’t just pull the curtains, place her limp wrist across her eyes and fall onto the couch.
So I wish that I could live back in Victorian Days, just for a while. I really want to swoon for a few days. Just till I feel better. I’d even be willing to wear a corset…..
Empty Nest, Full Life 
As Sher once said, “snap out of it !”
Sorry, I just wanted to put a smile on your face 🙂
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How did I know you’d say that?!
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If I could I would send some sunshine and warm thoughts directly your way, enough to make you kick up your heels and act very unVictorian. Take care.
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Thank you! I know that I will snap out of it soon; perhaps it’s in my Latin nature to enjoy a bit of melodrama once in a while…..
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I am sad, too. I’m sick of people dying and having terminal illnesses and sickness and heartache. You are right, though, we are expected to plug along. So while I would much prefer to lie in bed under the covers, I am plugging along, going to work, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of my family and trying to keep my mind from thinking too much. But if you decide to strap up the corset, I’ll be right there with you. Can mine be black with rhinestones?
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I’m on the Victoria’s Secret site right now, shopping for our corsets…..
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My advice is to write about it, and recapture the joy. I’ve lost several people including my two sisters. But I found that I can have them again, by writing about them. Sometimes I post, sometimes I don’t.
This one gave me back my sister Judy for a time. I treasure it: http://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2012/01/14/connections/
It’s the little details that I always miss the most.
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Can you get me one too! I can so identify with your post. I feel like I’m on a treadmill with no off switch. My only option is to keep on running or to stop and go shooting off the back to land unceremoniously in a heap 😆
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Me too. I’m thinking about you and I hope it gets better.
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Corsets for everyone! Rhinestones, glitter, comfort pads and a big permission slip that says “Go lie down”! Are you in?
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Do something nice for yourself! It’s okay to indulge yourself. We’re way too hard on ourselves in this difficult world. Hang in there.
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Thanks! You’re right; we are so hard on ourselves, and I’m still not sure why….Trying to sit still for a bit today!
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Pingback: Open up your heart to the passing time « maturestudenthanginginthere
I hope you don’t mind but I’ve included a link to this post in a post I wrote today. I wrote about being a mum and your words felt particularly relevant. You can find the post here. Hope that’s ok.
http://maturestudenthanginginthere.wordpress.com/2012/03/14/open-up-your-heart-to-the-passing-time/
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I’m very flattered! Of course it is OK! On to read your post…
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