What am I doing WRONG?


I don’t understand.

I am a pretty efficient person. Really.  I raised three kids while working full time and managing a 35 mile-each-way commute.  I learned how to check the mail, make spaghetti, throw in a load of laundry and listen to a child’s description of recess, all at the same time.   Now that my kids are grown, I can simultaneously feed the dogs, vaccuum, call my Mom and baste a chicken while thinking up lesson plans for tomorrow.

I am not a slacker.  I make every. second. count.

And yet……

I can’t seem to find a way to reply to my daily emails in a timely and meaningful way.  Like, my friends sometimes send me adorable and funny emails featuring llamas and kittens, and I can barely squeeze out a response more thoughtful than “So cute!!”.  Don’t even ask me to find the time to send out an email to stay in touch with my family and friends!

I teach fifth grade, which I consider to be a pretty noble profession.  I shape the future. I touch young lives. I teach ten year olds to cope with decimals and fractions.   I do a good job, planning lessons and correcting papers and conferencing with kids.

But I simply do not have time to squeeze in email.

Or torrid affairs.

And I’m not even trying to run the freakin’ CIA!

How do these people manage to find the time?!

I mean, I have been reading about General Petraeus and his sordid little secrets, and all I can think of is “Where the hell does he find the time?”   I call it a very good day if I can manage to check my text messages while going to the bathroom!  Where on God’s Green Earth would I find the time to meet, flirt with and entertain a married lover?   Yeesh.

And then there is the question of physical and emotional energy.  My job sort of drains me, you know?  I manage to stay married to my childhood sweetheart, but there is no possible way that I could scrounge up enough extra juice for an outside interest.

Really!  How did the General find the….stamina?? How?

I have to say, I was kind of hoping that the person in charge of establishing, maintaining and protecting our national security would be even more focused on his job than I am.  Fifth graders are very demanding, but I always thought that Al Qaeda was worse.  I just assumed that the guy at the helm of the CIA would be really, really busy.  I always assumed that he wouldn’t have the free time to devote to a lady friend, you know?

So now my question is: what the hell am I doing wrong?  I don’t necessarily want to start up a secret affair with anyone, but it would be really nice to have the time to reply to all those adorable llama emails.

15 thoughts on “What am I doing WRONG?

  1. I say that to my husband nearly every day.
    “How do they do it?” I bemoan with genuine curiosity. They are obviously not teachers. As soon as the school year begins, we hit the ground running and scarcely have time to breathe, let alone engage in frivolities or even the basic necessities. I think we just think they manage it all. It’s impossible, isn’t it?

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  2. This is what we have all been wondering. Of course, if you’re having sex under your desk, there’s no travel time. I wondered it back in Clinton’s Lewinsky days. But he was eating pizza and talking on the phone to Congressmen while Ms. Lewinsky was servicing him, so it really didn’t take extra time. If he’d been on the exercise machine when Monica was there, think how quickly his 45 minutes would have gone by and maybe he could have skipped the heart surgery.

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  3. All I can say is you are preaching to the choir. And its been my whole life. I mean really …when is enough?? I had my hands full as a student then a researcher then a teacher all while raising what I was sure was the antichrist (she was a redheaded scorpio who has until her 26th year been an absolute hell on wheels. I remember checking her scalp for the infamous tattoo that said “666”. Now I am newly married and am taking care of my wheelchair bound mother and that was after I cared for my parents until my dad died. People get so mad at me for ignoring them but I am truly not. I don’t exactly see a line ;leading to my door of volunteers to help. Hang in there and this too shall pass or whatever that BS statement means.

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  4. If I had the time, I’d have a long bubble bath. Dealing with a whole new erson who has issues and demands? ACK! No way. I value my personal space (not that I ever get to actually experience it…) Lovely post!

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