Its Friday night, and its almost 10 PM.
And I am still awake.
If you are not a woman of a certain age, you probably have no idea of just how miraculous a fact this is.
If, on the other hand, you are a woman who has passed her 50th birthday and is enjoying all the delights of her own tropical climate and her own midriff adorning spare tire, you are probably nodding your head right now and saying something along the lines of, “Uh, huh! 10 PM, and she’s still got both eyes open! You go, girl!”
If you are one of my hormonally challenged women-of-wisdom friends, you are no doubt acutely aware of the fact that I should be sound asleep by now, all nestled under the covers and snoring like a passing freight train. Because you are also no doubt aware that come 3 AM, no matter what, my eyes will magically pop open and every semblance of sleepiness will disappear in a puff of unnecessary adrenaline. You know that I will then lie as rigid as a board, counting my heartbeats and feeling the sweat turn to icicles on my neck, for the next three hours. You know that no amount of melatonin, “Sleepytime Tea” or soft music will lull me back into the sleep I so desperately desire.
Ah, the joys of middle aged womanhood.
It was my blogging friend at “Text Me, Love Mom“, who reminded me tonight of just how fragile the world of sleep, and rest, and sanity can be for we middle aged ladies.
And that got me to thinking about the fact that every time I have a horrible night’s sleep, and go into work all saggy and groggy and brain fogged, at least four other women sympathize, and say, “I was awake all night, too!”
So I have a suggestion for all of you out there who know just what I mean when I refer to the crazy hours between 3 and 5 when our eyes simply refuse to close for even a second.
Let’s form a group, shall we? We can call ourselves, “Ladies of the Night”. We’re all awake, we’re all buzzing with energy, and we all need something constructive to do while we wait for the sun to come up and the automatic coffee pot to click on.
I’m thinking that we can all go on line, to some menopausal chat room, where we can swap ideas, gripe and complain, and ultimately solve all of the world’s problems while we wipe our upper lips and listen to our husbands snore.
Don’t you think we could solve the whole fiscal cliff thing? (“Throw the bastards over the damn cliff and put some of us in charge!”) We could solve that pesky middle east problem (“Smack ALL those guys into submission and make them listen to their wives and kids for a change!”) I have no doubt that we could take care of global warming (“Stop drilling and just tap into the air under our arms!”), education reform (“Shut up and listen to some teachers for once.”), and the European debt crisis (“Just sell of those fabulous Italian shoes…, I mean, seriously.”)
We could share recipes, compare child care stories and keep each other sane through yet another night of sleepless worry and angst. I think it sounds like a plan!
So…..you guys want to join me, or what? “Ladies of the Night”! First meeting at 3 AM tomorrow morning, right here on Word press.
Now I gotta head for bed, while the sleepiness fairy is still hovering around my head.