Internal debate


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If I was a natural optimist, I would never have started this blog.

I mean, this whole writing exercise was the suggestion of a therapist, who probably just wanted me to stop whining and taking up valuable couch space.

I’m Italian.  I’m a Pisces.  Drama is my middle name. I gripe, therefore I am.

Lately, though, I have been trying hard to look on the bright side of things. I’ve been trying not to cry and moan and complain so often.  I smile so much at school that my cheek muscles get sore (oops! That was a complaint, huh? See how hard this is for me?) I work very hard to see all points of view and to empathize with everyone around me.  I try to speak positively and look at the future with hope and pleasure.

But you know what?   It’s March and we’re in the middle of yet another whopping snowstorm.  More shoveling, more slush, more wet-dog-smell.  I’m trying to be positive here, but its damn near impossible at this point!

I am supposed to be picking up my baby boy for Spring break today!!!!   I took the school day off, and left elaborate lesson plans all neatly queued up on my desk!

And now its a snow day.  I can’t hit the road to head west until the plows come by, and I wasted three hours of writing, organizing and copying things for my sub.  And, to add insult to injury, I have to make the day up.  In June.

Sigh.

I’m trying to be upbeat.  I am!

But I am turning into one of those cartoon characters with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. You know the ones I mean, right?  The angel whispers positive messages in the right ear, but the devil whispers bad stuff in the left?   Yep.  That’s what’s happening in my tiny brain today.  Snow is pretty-angel.  Snow sucks-devil.

Kind of sounds like this:

Look how the snow coats the trees like lovely whipped cream!

Look how the snow is breaking the branches. The yard is gonna be a mess in April.

The snow flakes look so peaceful, falling gently.

I am so bleepin sick of feeling like I live in a snow globe!  Its making me dizzy.

We can go snow shoeing!

I want to go swimming!

We can sit by the fire tonight.

All this smoke is giving me asthma.

There has been so much snow this winter; the plants will really thrive with all this moisture!

There has been so much snow this winter; we’re going to be eaten alive by mosquitos!

Gosh, how nice to have a snow day! I can catch up on some housecleaning chores.(Angels always things like ‘gosh’ and ‘golly’. Makes me want to slap them.)

Damn, another snow day! We’ll be in school ’til freakin’ July! (Devils are of course, potty mouths. I can relate.)

And on and on it goes. I want to be positive, but I also want to be a size 8 blonde, walking on a beach on Oahu. Some things are not meant to be.

Damn!  That’s a lot of freakin’ whipped cream.

18 thoughts on “Internal debate

    • Well, good thinking, except that the make up day will be the last day of school, and I’d never miss that! No worries, really. I’m actually kind of happy that I get an extra day with this sweet class. I just really like to, you know…..complain!!!

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  1. I had a real estate agent come look at our house yesterday. The market is on it’s way up here, and she suggested if we wanted to get top dollar, we wait to sell until next year. As she spoke, I looked outside at the “freakin’ whipped cream” blizzard, and decided money isn’t everything. This post made me smile (and frown).

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  2. I know what you mean. It’s cold and wet and rainy here in Texas too. It probably got down to 55 degrees last night! I’ll sure be happy when spring gets sprung…
    (snicker)

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  3. I had a friend once who wrote a song called “Murmur-murmur.” The crux of it was that everytime God gave him something beautiful or that he longed for (a house and sunny weather for example), he’d complain about the maintenance of the house and having to mow the grass. The song was hysterically funny. Your piece reminded me of it. I think we all have the “devil and the angel” on our shoulders and they both supply the running positive/negative commentary in our heads. I agree with Elyse: definitely fantasize about the palm trees!

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