Dreaming of my unforgettable new name!
Like all good Americans, I have done my part to maintain the absolute hysteria surrounding the birth of the royal baby.
Of course, I get kind of hysterical about the birth of every baby. I am a sucker for the whole “bringing a brand new life into the world” thing. I love their tiny baby feet, their tiny baby fingers and sweet noses and soft cheeks. I think that Heaven will smell exactly like the tender neck of a newborn child.
But I was extra excited by this baby. This royal little bundle of historical joy. This sweet, tiny creature will most likely one day be the King of England.
Huzzah!! This is, to quote Joe Biden, “a big fuckin’ deal”. So I was riveted by the pageantry as I awaited the royal birth.
Then, once his royal little self was born, and we all got a glimpse of his adorable little royal face, I became one of millions of people the world over who breathlessly awaited news of the baby’s royal name.
I’m a teacher, so I get to hear tons of interesting children’s names. Some are really exotic, some are cutsie, some are liltingly beautiful. Which of the hundreds or thousands of names out there would the charming, young, nonconformist royal couple choose for their firstborn child? Would it be Erik, or Tucker or Cooper or Dante? Maybe Taylor or Jake or Stetson? I couldn’t wait to hear what it would be!!!
So……
You can imagine my disappointment when I heard that the world’s most down-to-earth Princess decided to name her baby George.
I mean……George?
As in, the King who lost the New World to those pesky revolutionaries? George? As in, the curious monkey? As in “of the jungle”? As in Bush? Seriously?
Choosing a name is a serious business. Names have power.
I firmly believe that in many cases, our name can shape our destiny.
Do you remember a guy named Rollie Fingers?
He was a pitcher in the major leagues.
There was another pitcher, a bit earlier, named Bill Hand.
I am not making this up.
My husband once knew a guy named Peter Payne. He was a dentist.
Choosing a name is very serious business! If you have a baby girl, you should really steer away from names like “Amber LaBoom”, you know?
And if you are naming a future King of England, I just think you should steer away from the name of the King who has gone down in history as both a nut job and a loser.
I believe that a name can shape a person’s destiny.
If you don’t believe me, just ask Anthony Weiner.
Empty Nest, Full Life 
LOL… my thoughts about the name exactly!
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I mean……that was the BEST they could do???
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When I was pregnant, we told everyone we were naming our son Fyvush Finkle or Deuteronomy (so we could call him “Dute”) Granted, we actually named him Shepherd, but there’s something to be said for creativity.
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Great post. I love names and their relationship with what a person becomes. But I pay attention to doctors’ names.
The first time I noticed was an article on brain surgery by Dr. Head. Then I found pay dirt when I worked at the WHO in Geneva. The doc in charge of bird flu was Dr. Perdue, the one in charge of childhood illnesses was Dr. Ricketts. Best of all was the one in charge of HIV/AIDs. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP:
Dr. Kevin deCock.
Poor Prince George.
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Hahahahaha!!!!!! I just laughed so hard that coffee came out of my nose….!!!
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I’ve often thought about doing a post on these (I have an extensive list at my office) but since they are real people doing real work (mostly good works at that), I can’t bring myself to do it. I just make fun of them in comments!
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That is funny~ My Dad’s dentist is Dr. Spitz and my kid’s first pediatrician was Dr. Duby! Wonder if their names inspired their occupation…..
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Dr Spitz?!?!
My first dentist was Dr. Dragon. He inspired a lifelong fear of dentists. What were my parents thinking????
I love Dr. Duby. I would have signed my kid up for him!
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Hahahaha!!
This whole topic is far more hilarious than I realized! Looking for a vet named Dr. Mutt, or a surgeon named Dr. Sharp…….
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My first thought…George Castanza! Could have been because the second (not middle) name was Alexander (as in Jason Alexander).
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Never thought of that!
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When the British think of “George,” they think of George VI (birth name Albert, known as Bertie), who was a very popular king in general and especially for his refusal to leave London during the Blitz in WWII. They don’t think of George III the way Americans do. Of course, as a Yankee fan, I tend to think “Steinbrenner.”
Prince George doesn’t have to become King George VII, although I expect he will. You can take whatever name you want, as Bertie did when he became George VI. I expect Prince Charles will become Charles III, but he could become George VII if he wants. It’s like the Pope…
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Wow…after all that, he gets to pick whatever name he wants??? I would have named the kid “Larry” or something.
I actually wrote the whole post just to get in the last line…..
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Yes, Edward VIII’s given name was David.
And I loved the last line!
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The doctor who delivered my sister and me was named Dr. Bornstein.
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I love it!
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I agree! They should have gone out of the box and named him Apple or Moon Unit or maybe Ringo! After all, the Royals are rock stars now aren’t they?
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Yes, exactly!!!!
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Oh my goodness, good laugh. I knew a kid in middle school, he was from Southeast Asia, his name was Long Dong. No joke. It was a very unfortunate coincidence of language and spelling. I’ve always wondered if he change it as an adult, or wholly embraced it.
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Oh, my goodness, that’s terrible!
My daughter had a friend named Stormi Knight.
Yikes!!
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Ha! I love that it is Stormi with an “i”!
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I know I’m the dissenting opinion here, but I thought it was a very respectful choice, given how Elizabeth the Queen adored her father. In my religion, we honor beloved relatives who have passed in the same way. It made perfect sense to me.
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To be honest, the entire post was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. I just needed a set up for the last line. I don’t really have an opinion on what the royals named the petit prince.
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Love this! You had me at “Bush? Seriously?” then I read your last line. Thanks for the smile and the laugh out loud moment. Great post!
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Glad you caught the humor; I guess I”m not particularly funny, because quite a few people took me seriously!
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As someone has already pointed out, the most recent King George was George VI, the present queen’s highly respected father (British history did not stop in 1776 🙂 ). George is also one of Prince Charles’s given names.
You’re right about names and destiny. Unfortunately, like so much else in this country, names are linked to social class. “Sensible” parents like William and Kate give their children “sensible”, traditional names – “silly” or “made up” names (especially boys’ names) are likely to be interpreted as a sign of “silly, irresponsible” parents. You can bet your bottom dollar that there are no Stetsons at Eton.
I suppose they could have gone for some of the more unusual royal names – Egbert, Ethelwulf, Ethelred, Ethelbert, Ethelbald …
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Oh, dear, I guess my attempt at humor is less than humorous; I really wrote the whole post just to get to the last line. Perhaps I need to write a post in which I extol the virtues of every George. As in George Washington! And and George Herman Ruth! And George Harrison…… I just wanted a chance to make a Weiner joke!
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There used to be a urologist in our area named Dick Chomp…I shit you not. As for the baby, I like Alexander better. George reminds me of George Michael or Boy George or George Foreman. Maybe the kid’ll have a side career in music or hawking his wares on QVC. Ya never know!
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A urologist???!! No way!!!! Thanks for seeing the humor here, lame as it apparently was!
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We have another one on staff…his name’s Dr. Pinkstaff. You just can’t make this stuff up!!
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I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s almost like they couldn’t agree on a name, and one of them just said, out of sheer frustration, “Let’s call him George.” My mother went to school with a girl named Brooke Lynn Bridge, so I guess it could be worse.
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Hahaha!! God, all these fantastically funny names are great! I once knew a girl named “Amanda Lynn” and my Mom had a friend named “Chris Ko”.
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