You know how some people show amazing strength and positivity in the face of life’s adversity? You know how those people keep smiling even when they have every reason to complain?
These are the people we all admire. They look on the bright side, no matter what life throws at them. These are the types of women who say things like, “Well, at least I got a chance to catch up on my knitting!” while they are recovering from gall bladder surgery. They read self help books while their broken ankles heal.
They research new recipes while they convalesce. They look cute in their pajamas, with their little noses all pink and their cheeks rosy from their fevers.
I hate them.
Because I am so. Not. Like. That.
I have been sick for a week. I have a bad cold. Maybe the flu. Maybe even pneumonia. Ugh. I have been hoarse, croupy, coughing, congested, achy and wicked crabby.
And by crabby I mean “Do not touch me or speak to me or breathe near me or I will bite you.” I have been stuck in my house for four days. The smell of Vicks is mixing with the smell of dog and every time I inhale, I get more annoyed. My ribs hurt from coughing and my right shoulder hurts from spending 143 hours in a row playing “Bejeweled.” I have bad breath and my hair is all sticking up on top. I am pasty and pale and baggy eyed and floppy.
It is not a pretty picture.
But you know what? Last night as I was going to bed, I gave myself a little pep talk. I did. I looked right at my reflection in the mirror. Yikes. I decided to take my glasses off, just so, you know, I wouldn’t get too disgusted to lecture myself. I stood up straight and I said, “Self, you listen to me. You are probably feeling worse because you’re just lying around like a big old slug. You need to shape up. You need to think positive! You need to go to sleep and then wake up feeling a whole lot better.”
Then I marched myself to bed and tried to stop coughing long enough to fall asleep.
And when I woke up, twelve hours later, I gave myself a little once over before I stood up. Ugh. Still achy, still dizzy, still coughing. Crap. I dragged into the kitchen and made coffee. I looked at the recliner. There were dog hairs on it. Right next to my rolled up dirty socks. I shuddered.
Nope. Not another day in the recliner. No way. I thought about those cheerful positive types. Then I gritted my teeth and marched into the bathroom. No more sweaty PJ’s for me, no sir. I was going to shampoo, slather on the body wash and shave these bristly legs. I was going to get on the road to a positive recovery RIGHT NOW.
I stripped down, stepped briskly into the nice hot shower and grabbed my razor. “I can do this.” I told myself. I reached forward to shave my right ankle and ZING!! A bolt of electricity went through my entire spine as my back went into a full out spasm.
Three hours have gone by. I am back in the recliner, on an ice pack this time. I’m trying to be positive. Sorta.
“Well”, I’m telling myself, “At least I’m in too much pain to actually throw a piece of furniture out the window.”
Crap.
Empty Nest, Full Life 
Sounds like me. But I’m finally better, almost and my back no longer feels like it was hit by a truck. All the coughing and sneezing, you know? Makes you seize up. This morning, my husband who now has the same crud I had, though hopefully not pneumonia, sneezed. And his back went out. But he’s a guy, he’s allowed to be crabby. I sometimes go from crabby to seriously hostile when I’m sick. I’m just fine for a few days, but as the days turn into weeks, I turn into something evil. Frightening and slithery. It’s the germs eating your brain from the inside.
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Aw, man such imagery…..!!!! I love that now I have an excuse when I snap at Paul…”It’s the germs, eating my brain from the inside!”
Hope both of you feel better! I am just boring myself silly here with this inactivity. How sad is this; I wish I could wash the floor!
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At least you still have your sense of humour! (See? I’m one of those positive people! 😉 )
Enjoy the downtime – revel in the dirty hair and dirty floors and the fact that no one can expect anything from you because you’re SICK!
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Ha, you ARE one of those people! I hate chew.
I reveled, for the first couple of days. Now I just want to get up and move! But don’t speak to me or breathe on me or……
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See what happens when you cop a cheerful attitude? More grief. It just doesn’t pay.
Nor does shaving one’s legs in November.
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You are SO. RIGHT! Why didn’t I think of that? No more positivity for me, no way.
Worst of all, I still have the stubbly legs!
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When I’m sick, you can bet I am in bed, miserable, and I don’t care what anyone thinks. If they don’t like it, they can leave!
Hope you feel better soon. You will be so positive and cheerful when you get well, that you will tell everyone how rested you feel. They will think you are one of those people. 😉
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Well, how optimistic of you to think so!
You aren’t one of THOSE people, are you?
Right now I just want to be able to stand up straight so my smile won’t look so twisted…..
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Goodness no! Never! But you’ll see. You’ll see things differently when you feel better. 😉 Hope it’s soon!
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Ah, Jeeze…when it rains, it pours…we’ve all been there, if we’ve been on this planet long enough.
Last winter when I was in much the same circumstance, I had the brilliant idea that a hot bath would make everything All Better…then my back was SO bad, I was afraid I’d never get out.
Feel better soon!
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Thank you, for the laugh and the moral support! Off to play “Bejeweled”…..
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I’m sorry for your misery, really I am. But I couldn’t help but laugh at your imagery. In fact, I laughed so hard I threw my back out.
I hate you….
😛
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Hahaha!
My nefarious plan worked! I can’t be the only crooked one out here…..
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Oh no! But is it terrible that I laughed while reading this?
I’m descending into sickness as we speak and I’m very much like you in this regard. You’re not alone. Feel better soon!
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OH, No!!! But you CAN”T be sick; you have babies to take care of!
I’m so happy that you laughed; that was the idea!
As long as you didn’t throw your back out while laughing, like my good friend Zorbear!
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I hated to “like” this, but hopefully today you are feeling a bit better. Thanks for sharing…sometimes it just feels better to “get it off your chest” so to speak. Nice to see you’ve kept your wonderful humor, and at least you will be rid of it by the holidays! 🙂
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Thanks! I did get a good laugh out of my predicament…..I guess you have to laugh because what else would you do?!!
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