I am resolute.


This post is a tribute to all of my blogger buddies, most especially Peg at Peg O’ Legs Ramblings. It is dedicated to all of the people in my life who feel “not quite good enough”.

I’ve been thinking about the whole idea of “New Year’s Resolutions” for the past week or so. You see, I brought up the subject with my fifth grade class just before winter vacation.  They really surprised me.

They are ten and eleven years old.

They all wanted to feel less worry, less anxiety, less fear.

What?  They’re babies!!! But this was the main resolution that each of them expressed to me that morning. “I want to worry less.”  “I want to be less anxious.”

They fear failure, injury, death, illness, mistakes, embarrassment, war, tests, the future.

And I also talked to some of my friends (mostly women), who have made resolutions this year.  They all seemed to want to lose weight, to be more fit, to exercise more, to read more, to achieve more, to clean more thoroughly, to be BETTER.

Holy BS.  Holy Nonsense.  Holy Garbagio, Batman.  Really?

So I have made up my mind. I am absolutely going to make some New Year’s Resolutions this year.   I am resolving to do the following:

1) I will look in the mirror and smile at my familiar, kind, middle aged face every morning.  I will notice how much I look like the people I love so much (my Mom, my Dad, my daughter, my boys, even my hound dog with his brown eyes).

2) I will congratulate myself every Friday evening for all that I have done all week.  Even if all I did was get myself down the highway five times to get to my classroom, and get myself back home again afterwards. Even if the greatest achievement was arriving back at Friday in one piece.

3)  I will think about how lucky I am.  Every day.  I will look at pictures of my healthy happy kids, and I will thank every god and goddess in the universe for the reality of them in my life.   I will spend time with my Mom and my siblings and I will thank every positive force in the universe for the reality of them in my life.

4) I will laugh every single day. No exceptions.

5) I will hug every kid who seems to be even slightly in need of one.  Then I will remind myself that I just got far more than I gave.

6)  I will eat good food and I will enjoy it.  This includes good wine.

And I will do my level best to help the children in my life to ease the fears that haunt them. I will tell them how wonderful they are, how much I love them, how happy I am to teach them.  I will give them whatever bits of wisdom I have about how to manage that anxiety.  Maybe we’ll learn some yoga together. Maybe we’ll work on our breathing. Maybe we’ll try to write out our fears.  I’m not sure.

All I know is that my New Year’s Resolutions will have everything to do with stepping back and finding joy in my reality.  They won’t have anything to do with making myself a Better Human Being.

To quote Peg: “Screw That”.  I think we’re all pretty damn awesome just the way we are.

28 thoughts on “I am resolute.

  1. Lovely post. Even though 2013 was a bad year for me, I am still very much looking forward to the new year. I have hope in my heart and am full of optimism that next year will be a good one. I hope you too have a great one.

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    • And you have certainly been on my mind this week, my dear.
      Life, somehow or other, seems to go on. As I get older, I find that to be a remarkably comforting thought. I love the idea that when I go on to the next step, my family will just keep on as always. My friends will mourn me and miss me and then make breakfast.
      This is what makes us all immortal.
      Wishing you peace, and healing and a joyful 2014.

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      • Thank you for thinking of me. It has actually been a good Christmas. Heres to us, blogging and the promises a new year will bring.
        I love when you say, “my friends will mourn me and miss me and then breakfast” I too would wish to be remembered or forgotten in this way.

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  2. I absolutely LOVE your positive approach to New Year’s Resolutions. And actually we will all become our best selves when we love, accept, and celebrate ourselves…flaws and all. I know I’ve said this before, but those are some very lucky students.

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    • We all are, dear Guap!!! Happiest New Year to you and yours! Looking forward to reading you in the new year. (Ew. I sound like the Long Island Medium). You know what I meant, though, right? Because we’re both awesome!

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  3. it’s insane how much we all worry over things that are out of control…we’re increasingly anxious. I love this post, for your ability to rise above it and appreciate all the good there is out there

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