All alone.


Sometimes I wonder why I so enjoy having a stretch of time at home all alone.

I’m not really an antisocial person.  I love my family. I love my husband. I love my wonderful friends.

But sometimes I love being here all by myself even more.

For the past 36+ hours, I have been in my house with just the dogs for company.  Paul went hiking with a friend. The kids are in their own respective homes. I passed up a couple of social invitations.

I stayed right here.

I mowed the lawn, weeded the veggies, piled extra soil around the potatoes.  I cleaned out a kitchen cabinet.

I read a stupid, mindless novel and worked on a story that I’m trying to write.

I listened to music and watched incredibly stupid TV.  I read the Sunday paper.

Last night I opened a bottle of Prosecco and grilled myself a pound of wild caught salmon, with just a bit of sea salt on it.  I made an unbelievably delicious cole slaw with sour cream and chive infused white wine vinegar.  I ate dinner on my deck, hearing only the sound of the wind in the pines behind the house.

I went to bed early and slept for 10 straight hours. I woke up and had my iced coffee on the deck with a dog on each foot.

Why do I so enjoy my time all alone?

Here is my theory.

I think that I like being home, in the house that I have cleaned and decorated and organized, with no one to mess things up. It soothes me to look at my little nest, set up just the way I like it.

I think that I love being free to focus on doing just exactly what I feel like doing.

And most of all, I think I like it because when I am all alone, I’m not talking or listening or thinking very much.  When I am here with the dogs and the grill and the mower and the compost pile, my mind shuts itself right down.  I go into a sort of dormancy that allows me to restart with more energy.

I am wise enough to know that I wouldn’t like to be alone for long, or very often.

But once in a while, every once in a long while, it is an absolute gift to be here in my sunny house with only my very undemanding self as a companion.  Me, and two sleepy old dogs.

17 thoughts on “All alone.

  1. Oh wow. 36 hours. You have painted a picture of heaven here. As you say, not forever, but once in a while to spend time alone is exactly as you say, healing and re energizing. Lucky you. I look forward to such alone time.

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  2. Ahhhh, 36 hours of alone time. Sounds wonderful! I would love it for all the same reasons you do, but then I would also love when everyone returned, and it got messy and loud again!

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  3. Ah…that sounds like heaven to me. I relish my time alone and have always been a bit of a loner. Of course, with my family around any bit of solitude is hard to come by now. I think I need it for the reason you mentioned: to recharge. For me, it’s almost like a meditation. It helps me clear my head.

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    • For me, too. I never had these moments when the kids were home, and now I really do cherish them. But its funny, I am so much happier now that Paul is home! All recharged and ready to resume my place as part of a unit!

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  4. This sounds so wonderful! I too, love alone time, although I don’t seem to get much of it. There is something so very lovely about just having time to yourself:)

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  5. And when you are alone, you can be yourself rather than be what everyone else expects you to be. A person that can be alone and enjoy it is a person who truly likes themselves. It took me a half-century to get to that point. It’s nice to see it in others.

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  6. I hear you loud and clear! I love my alone time. The release that comes from letting go the need to consider another’s preferences, needs, choices. Love ’em to pieces, but it’s fun to open windows when I want to, to have full control over the thermostat, to have counter tops free of tools and newspapers. Small potatoes. But my potatoes.

    Timely post, this. Hubby leaves for a two week work tour up north. I’ll be happy to see him go, but happier to see him return.

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    • Oh, wow, two weeks! I haven’t had the pleasure of my own company for that long, ever! I hope that you thoroughly enjoy eating what you want when you want, listening to your own music, and watching your own TV shows. And I hope that you have a wonderful reunion when he comes back to you!

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  7. Pingback: Building Rome – Week 28 | The Zombies Ate My Brains

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