Turn around…….


unnamedI am in that very strange, surreal space that descends upon parents when their babies are about to get married.

Two weeks from today, our oldest child, our only daughter, will be married.

She is an adult. A professional.  A strong, independent, capable woman.  She is more than ready to be married.

Wait, what? No she’s NOT!  For God’s sake, she was just born about a month ago! I can still remember every pain, every push, every ear infection, every diaper.   What do you mean she’s ready to get married?   No, no, no!!!! Every milestone in her life flashes before my eyes.   I see her playing “wedding” with our next door neighbor. I see her getting on the big yellow bus for the first time. I see her first date, her first job, her first day of college…….

She is marrying a great guy.  He is smart, lots of fun, and he clearly loves my daughter to pieces.

Hold it!  He’s a BABY!  Is he even old enough to shave? (OK, well he has an absolutely epic beard, but that was just a euphemism.) How can this boy be the future father of my future grandchildren?  What?!

The wedding is all planned, all ordered, all pretty much set to go.  Kate has her dress, I have mine. The food is ordered, the tent is ordered, the music is being organized.  Kate and Sam are all set for decorations, for rings, for flowers.  The wine is ready to go, sitting in its cases in my basement.  The kegs are on order.

Now all we have to do is wait.

And think, and ruminate, and dream that she is a baby again, held in my arms.  All we have to do is blink hard, admit that time has flown more quickly than we could ever have predicted.  Admit that this day is really, truly coming.  Our baby girl will be beautiful and radiant. She will walk with us toward her young man, and they will bind their hands and their lives together.

All we have to do is keep our eyes fixed firmly on the future, never acknowledging the pull of the past.

When she was very little, I would sing this song to Katie, and she would hold her hands on my cheeks as I cried.

Where are you going, my little one, little one?

Where are you going, my baby own?

Turn around and you’re tall,

Turn around and your grown.

Turn around and you’re a young wife

with babes of your own.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCh13Rsd-WU

How can this day be here?

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18 thoughts on “Turn around…….

  1. It will be a glorious day, and you will be as happy as you were the day she was born. Only you can drink to celebrate, and there will be no fear of medical complications!

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  2. By the time I got to “Where are you going my little one, little one?” I had tears in my eyes. What a beautiful post. I turned on the TV and there was Fiddler on the Roof with Sunrise, Sunset, It obviously was a conspiracy to remind me how precious the people and times are in my life. Thanks. Best wishes to all.

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    • Thank you! I can absolutely bring myself to sobs with “Sunrise, Sunset” and “Turn Around”!! Phew…….
      Actually, all week I have had the lyrics of “Do you love me?” in my brain, “With our daughter getting married and there’s trouble in the town, you’re upset, you’re worn out, go inside, go lie down….!”

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  3. You are blessed to see this day. Think of the moms dead of breast/ovarian cancer who don’t get to be mother of the bride. And Friday, I was at the funeral of a friend whose son committed suicide.
    It’s okay to be a weeping mess, just remember that you are a very lucky weeping mess.
    I was at a meeting of my church group not long ago (Associates of the Sisters of the Holy Faith), and one of the ladies read “Love You Forever” as part of her presentation that evening. Everyone was sobbing. I remember reading it at the book store when my son was little and putting it right back on the shelf as too tough. Many tears shed over “The Velveteen Rabbit.” I think it was one of his favorites because he liked to see me cry!

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    • You are absolutely right, my friend, I know! I think part of why I am so weepy is that I have a couple of friends who have lost children, and a couple who got married after losing their own moms. It is happy weeping, for sure. Not only that, but Kate lives near me and works with me! I have no regrets, believe me! And I know that Kate requested “Turn Around” specifically to see me cry. She loved it!

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      • What is it about our kids liking to see us cry? One of my son’s favorite things when he was little was to say, “Run, Bambi, run. Save yourself.” or simply, “Old Yeller,” when we were in a public place, knowing I’d start to cry. Oh, hell, I’m crying now!

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  4. We can’t turn back the hands if time however the very fact that she’s marrying someone who you like and loves Katie to pieces will get you through:) I recently had a conversation with some parents who’s oldest daughter is with someone who is controlling and trying to put a wedge between the family. It reminded me how lucky I am. While I don’t have my kids living with me and I miss it, they are all with people who are good to them and we love ❤️

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  5. Moms. Wishing you all the best! I was chocked up like the rest of your commenters on reading this post. It will be a glorious day, I am sure. Enjoy every minute of it, my friend. It is all part of the circle of life and we are meant to relish in these young lives setting forth on their journey–going farther, deeper, and reaching higher than we ever could. God bless!

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    • Thank you, Eleanor! I don’t know why I am such a sap….I’m happy for my girl, seeing her so happy. I just can’t help seeing the baby that she was when I look at the woman that she is now.
      Thank you for your good wishes!!

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