Two weeks from today, our oldest child, our only daughter, will be married.
She is an adult. A professional. A strong, independent, capable woman. She is more than ready to be married.
Wait, what? No she’s NOT! For God’s sake, she was just born about a month ago! I can still remember every pain, every push, every ear infection, every diaper. What do you mean she’s ready to get married? No, no, no!!!! Every milestone in her life flashes before my eyes. I see her playing “wedding” with our next door neighbor. I see her getting on the big yellow bus for the first time. I see her first date, her first job, her first day of college…….
She is marrying a great guy. He is smart, lots of fun, and he clearly loves my daughter to pieces.
Hold it! He’s a BABY! Is he even old enough to shave? (OK, well he has an absolutely epic beard, but that was just a euphemism.) How can this boy be the future father of my future grandchildren? What?!
The wedding is all planned, all ordered, all pretty much set to go. Kate has her dress, I have mine. The food is ordered, the tent is ordered, the music is being organized. Kate and Sam are all set for decorations, for rings, for flowers. The wine is ready to go, sitting in its cases in my basement. The kegs are on order.
Now all we have to do is wait.
And think, and ruminate, and dream that she is a baby again, held in my arms. All we have to do is blink hard, admit that time has flown more quickly than we could ever have predicted. Admit that this day is really, truly coming. Our baby girl will be beautiful and radiant. She will walk with us toward her young man, and they will bind their hands and their lives together.
All we have to do is keep our eyes fixed firmly on the future, never acknowledging the pull of the past.
When she was very little, I would sing this song to Katie, and she would hold her hands on my cheeks as I cried.
Where are you going, my little one, little one?
Where are you going, my baby own?
Turn around and you’re tall,
Turn around and your grown.
Turn around and you’re a young wife
with babes of your own.
How can this day be here?