This is about to become one of those incredibly self-serving and self-conscious posts about blogging.
I hate those.
But I’m in a weird place! I need advice/comfort/support/head slaps/eye rolls/”get over your bad selfs”/hugs. I started this blog way back when because I was really, truly depressed about the emptying of my nest.
I was picturing this:
When in reality, my children looked like this:
I was a very sad out-of-work Mommy. So I poured my heart out into “Post Departum Depression” (get it??) and I cried and I mourned and I grieved. And I found some wonderful kindred souls and some very smart and talented writers. And slowly, slowly, I grew out of my sadness and my depression.
I grew to the point where I began to appreciate the pleasures of the post-baby phase of life. And I began to write for the pleasure of writing. I no longer needed the therapy, I no longer needed the outlet. But I kept on writing.
Why, you ask? Why did I continue to write, even when the therapy was no longer needed? Well, first of all, WordPress has these horribly addicting things called “Freshly Pressed” and “stats”. You start to look at them. Like every day. Or maybe 43 times a day. You notice those rare and exhilarating days when you have been “Freshly Pressed” or when a famous educational blogger like Diane Ravitch has shared your post. You become entranced as your stats go from 30 daily reads to 3,000 daily reads. You start to feel moderately famous. You grab your laptop and frantically search for a topic. You write because you want to be read!
I know that these little blips of success are fleeting. I know that I am not actually on my way to that Pulitzer Prize. Still, I keep writing.
I write because every time I start to think, “Who the hell do I think I am, expecting people to read my drivel?”, I run into a smart, thoughtful, wonderful friend who tells me that she reads my words and that “they touch my heart”. Gulp! Talk about a boost of adrenaline and a boost to the ego! I write because the people I value find something meaningful in my words.
I have discovered that blogging has opened my world. I have blogging friends now in Scotland, England, California, Connecticut, Maine. I have blogging friends who share my ideas, and friends whose ideas are totally foreign to me. I have exchanged thoughtful comments about parenting, teaching, marriage, dog training, gun laws, the Arab Spring, Gaza and Israel, local foods and herbal medicine.
I learn something every time I check my reader.
But here is my dilemma.
I no longer feel that “Post Departum Depression”. I no longer mourn over my empty nest. Truth to tell, I am gearing up to be (hopefully) a grandmother one day in the not-too-distant future.
So. Do I end this blog, and start another? Do I change the name of the site? Or do I honor the time in my life that helped me to find my writer’s voice, and keep the site and name as I grow into my “Nonni” years?
I’d love it if you would weigh in on this, everyone. What should I do?
I can see every side of the issue, and I am not sure what to do.
Let me leave you with this. The image of my beloved babies, as they celebrated together at Kate’s wedding.
What’s your advice?