This post is for all of those lovely young women who are considering pregnancy/dreaming of pregnancy/in the middle of pregnancy.
You know those pesky gift giving days (Christmas, Mother’s Day, Mom’s Birthday….) when you just can’t figure out what to give your Mom? Those relentlessly repeating days when you are supposed to present your mom with a lovely gift, all tastefully wrapped and accompanied by a ridiculously drippy card all about love and flowers and dancing angels…..You know what I’m talking about! I know you do!
Well, here’s the secret that they don’t tell you in the “how to please your Momma” textbook.
Your Momma doesn’t actually need another #1 Mom coffee mug, or another pair of Ultra Comfy Slipper Socks. Or a gift certificate to the local grocery store.
Nope. She doesn’t.
If you really want to make your Momma happy, and fill her heart with love and gratitude and joy and hot chicken soup, this is what you should do. I promise you, this is a fail-safe, guaranteed Make-your-Momma-happy plan.
Here’s what you do:
You go into labor, and you insist that your Mom be in the room with you. You labor for hours with your Mom in the room. You let her sit back and watch as your husband, her “you’re not my real kid” son-in-law strokes your forehead and whispers how much he loves you. You allow your Mom to rub your back when the pain hits, and you let her run down to the cafeteria when you crave a treat.
If you really want to give your Mom the ultimate gift, you let her stay up all night with you as you labor. You let her sleep in a chair so that she can watch over you as you sleep. You let her reassure you in the deepest part of the night, when you are Googling “Epidurals and Hard Labor”. You allow her to refill your ice and water cup. You let her share the “breathe” routine with your husband.
When its time for the doctor to come and check your progress, you reach for your Mom’s hand, and the two of you think together “please, please, please, please say 6 centimeters!” When the doctor looks up with a surprised grin, you let your Momma yell to your showering husband, “Honey, hurry up! It’s time to push!!!!”
You let your Momma stand there and watch you as you do the hardest work of your life. You let her cheer you on as you push and breathe and growl. You hold the hand of the man you love best in all the world, and you let your Momma watch you.
And when at last that beautiful baby is born, you let your Mom and her “You are really one of mine” son-in-law embrace and shed a few tears together. You let her watch as that young man cuts the cord and you allow her to watch that very first moment, when you snuggle your little one on her chest.
THAT my friends, is the ultimate, not to be beaten, never forgotten gift to a Momma. After this, you’ll never ever need to buy another coffee cup in your life.
Thank you, thank you, Katie and Sam!!!! I love you!
Empty Nest, Full Life 
This is absolutely wonderful. Tender and real and authentic. I hope your daughter has seen it and that you tuck it into your grandchild’s baby book! http://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/07/30/blank-is-the-new-blank/
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Thank you, Judy! I just keep feeling a huge need to write it all out, and to process it for myself.
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Well you should keep on doing so. You’ll have a book or a book of essays by the end. You have a unique way of expressing yourself that is very readable…Don’t stop.
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Reblogged this on lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown and commented:
This is such wonderful and original piece that I have to reblog it.
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What a wonderful post! Okay, I’m old fashioned…well, old, anyway. But I think you’re all just plain fantastic. Thank goodness men don’t have babies — the population would die out in one generation! Push what out my where!?! Forget it!
BTW: Do you want to know why some men mistreat women? Jealousy, plain and simple. Because let’s face it, women are the essence of life itself, whereas men are only bystanders, watching the parade go by.
BTW2: If you’re one of those people who think that men are only good for those thirty seconds when they fertilize an egg, you’d be wrong. According to many scientists, a female mammal population left alone will indulge in a little natural cloning exercise called parthenogenesis, creating a continuing female population without the use or need of men. Personally, I see nothing wrong with that. You go girls! Keep on doing the important stuff while we boys sit in the corner and watch football…
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Its funny, my daughter is very interested in anthropology and the history of religions. We talked a lot during that labor (there was a lot of waiting around…….) about the duality of nature and of “god/goddess”. It was very thoughtful and deep, and we talked about the fact that it is during the reproductive process/birth process where the goddess emerges. My son in law, who is absolutely hilarious, said this in response. “I think men are here to fertilize the egg then go fall out of a tree or something so women can have a good reason to keep repopulating.”
I’m not particularly religious, in a traditional sense, but this was most definitely a spiritual experience for me. Wow!
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Sounds like a pretty smart guy to only be related to you by marriage…
😛
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You’re expecting this several times a year — Christmas, birthday, Mother’s Day?
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Hell, yeah. I don’t always get it, but still…..
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Wow, you must certainly be a very special mom to have been given such a gift! I loved my mom, but I wouldn’t have wanted her there for all of that. It was best that she arrived after my daughter was born. haha 🙂
I’m so happy for you. What a special time. Congrats to all of you!
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I am not sure that I would have been there for all of it if Ellie had been born on time and in the hospital near our home; instead, she decided to arrive out of state, on a camping trip! And I was her ride home, so I really couldn’t leave! I will be eternally grateful to my daughter, and even more to her husband, for letting me be there with them.
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I’m glad there are mothers out there with strong stomachs. The smell of hospitals really upsets me!
I guess I didn’t have my mother in the theatre, but she was there for me when the baby was born, and that was a great gift.
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I didn’t have my mom in the room either, but my sister was with me for two of my births. Now I appreciate her even more!!!!
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The ultimate gift indeed. How wonderful you were a part of such an incredible experience!
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What a great birth story, Karen, and how lucky you were to be there! Looking forward to more amazing stories from you! Bet you’re glad you decided to retire, too! Enjoy and keep posting!
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HI, Nancye! Why didn’t you TELL me this would be so great??? LOL! All of a sudden, I couldn’t care less about anything other than that little girl!
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How wonderful! But I hope they don’t have to do it every year on both Christmas AND your birthday … 😉
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Haha! Now all they have to do is bring Ellie over to see me! Funny, yesterday Kate said “So from now on can we just give you macaroni necklaces for every special occasion?”
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