Dear Ellie
How on Earth do you do it?
You are absolutely entrancing. And I do not say that lightly!
I mean, I’ve raised three kids, as you know. I just have never had a child as tuned in and as social as you are.
You are really a unique little girl! You have the most serious and thoughtful gaze, as if you understand not only every word, but every emotion, every passing thought. I hold you on my lap, my hands around your ribs, your almost steady neck holding you upright. I talk to you, all nonsense. “Are you just the prettiest baby in the world? Are you my bean of a girl? You are! You are a sweet beanie!” Your dark, dark eyes hold onto mine, never wavering, barely blinking. You watch me so closely!
Sometimes when I talk, when I sound a little serious, I see your eyes moving around my face, switching from my right eye to my left, looking at my mouth as I speak. You hold my eyes; I can’t look away no matter how hard I try! I am so completely entranced by you.
Ellie, what are you thinking?
When I feed you, you rest so trustingly in the crook of my left elbow, drinking without effort. It always seems as if your mind is somewhere else. Sometimes you stare up at me, those deep brown eyes completely steady and totally alert.
What do you see when you look at me? Do you see safety, love, family? Do you wonder where your Mommy has gone? Do you see a gray haired old lady with funny glasses on, and wonder what she wants from you? I wish I knew……
Sometimes your eyes are fixed on my face, and as soon as I meet your gaze, you break into a huge grin, letting the streams of milk run down your cheeks and onto your neck. As if you’ve been just waiting to make eye contact! As if you are just thrilled to see me seeing you.
Ellie, you’re only three months old, for goodness sake. Babies just don’t act this way.
Honey, I suspect that you are a very old soul. And good God, your Nonni just loves you to pieces.
Empty Nest, Full Life 
Oh my, she is so precious! I suspect she is thinking, “look how much I am loved”.
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I can hope so! I suspect that her thoughts are much deeper……
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Beautiful! I laughed out loud at your description of yourself….”gray haired old lady with funny glasses on…..” I can relate….when did this happen? She is so perfect, beautiful. Enjoy every minute!
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Thanks, Karen! She is just so…..special! And I am not biased at all, LOL!
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She is adorable and I identify completely with your description of her. I remember being this entranced with my nieces and nephews…just loving them so much I could hardly stand it and thinking there had to be something I could “do” with the excesses I was feeling. You’ve figured out what to do with them–write about them. She is a dear. Absolutely precious. And I love hearing you talk about her.
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How perfectly put! I didn’t even realize it, but that is exactly how I feel! “What can I do with this extra intense love?” Thank you!
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She’s a really beautiful baby! Thanks for sharing her picture.
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Adorable…and I can so relate. I remember when Jack was this age and saying something like “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much before.” And then Molly came along. And Claire. And the feelings continue. You love your kids, care for them and nurture them. But there’s something about your grandchildren that is extra, extra special. You adore them unconditionally and you hopefully have more time to spend with them. Enjoy Ellie!
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I was having dinner with some friends last night, and all of us kept commenting on how deeply we love our grandchildren, and how amazed we are at that love! Life is such an adventure……! Will you hug your three for me? I sure do miss that handsome Jack!
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I think you have your dream “job”…
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Thought about sending a thank you card to my old asshole principal who pushed me out!
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