Way, way back, in the dawn of my history, when Paul and I were very young, we used to think about the upcoming weeks and tell ourselves, “I’m glad there is something to look forward to!”
Which means, of course, that there were times when we’d look at each other and think, “Ugh, there is nothing to look forward to!”
I look back now, at my 22 year old self, and I think, “Are you kidding me? You’re twenty something, and you don’t think you have something to look forward to? You only have your ENTIRE LIFE, you idiot!”
But at 22, I wasn’t thinking that way. I was thinking, “What wonderful adventure is out there for me in the next week?” I was young. I was foolish. I didn’t really get it.
And then, at the wise old age of 29, I gave birth to my first child. My wonderful, beautiful daughter Kate. And everything changed in an instant.
Suddenly, I knew that I had “something to look forward to” for at least 20 years. Every morning with my baby was a new beginning. Every bath time was a treasure. Every meal an adventure. I was enraptured, enamored, in love, entranced, enthralled.
Life was very, very good.
And then it went on. Kate’s brothers were born, and the rhythm of my life was set. I was a happy, busy Momma, and every passing week meant something new to look forward to. There were milestones and holidays and vacations and camping trips. Birthdays and new schools and sports and plays and music. Life was one big streak of “something to look forward to”.
And then they all grew up. And they moved away and started their own lives.
There suddenly wasn’t quite so much to look forward to, you know? Life was still happy and full, but the magical moments were gone.
And now, here I am, the full time day care provider for my little Ellie. Now I am back to the days of making pancakes for someone who will light up with joy at the new taste. I am back to singing brand new songs, and reading exciting new books.
Tonight, when supper was over, I put our leftover coconut rice into a bowl. I added an egg and some cream and cinnamon. I baked it for 20 minutes. It smells fantastic.
I will go to bed tonight with something to look forward to. I will give my beautiful Ellie a bowl of rice pudding for her breakfast tomorrow.
Life is a very beautiful thing.