GOP News As It Should Be


 

I have a dream for the next 24 hour news cycle.

You see, in an effort to start earning some type of income from my writing, I have started to write for the website, “Liberal America.” It’s really interesting, and I am learning a lot about how to write, how to post, how to work with WordPress.

I am also learning way more than I ever wanted to know about Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.  Yuck and a half.  Every time I do research for a post on the GOP, I feel the need to take a very long shower.

I hate what this campaign has become. I hate the utter garbage and swill that is the GOP campaign.

So.

Here is my fantasy:

A press conference has been called for 4 PM at an upscale office building in Minneapolis. Or Bangor Maine.  Or Baton Rouge.

The press corps is all assembled.  A hush comes over the crowd.  The cameras focus on the podium.

Out steps Heidi Cruz.  Beside her comes Melania Trump.  Both are dressed in professional clothes.  Neither is smiling.

The two women approach the microphones at the podium.

“Good afternoon,” Ms. Cruz begins. “Thank you for coming,” adds Ms. Trump.

The two go on, taking turns as they speak.

“We would like to take this moment to state, clearly and firmly, that we do NOT need our menfolks defending us. We are more than capable of taking care of ourselves.

“We would like to remind the public that this is 2016.  We are both highly educated, highly successful women. We have each achieved financial and professional goals that are completely separate from those of our husbands.

“We want to take this moment to tell all of the men out there, including the ones to whom we have found ourselves tied by legal marriage, that it is time to sit down and shut up.

“Neither one of us is ashamed of ourselves or of our lives. We don’t need you guys waving your wangdoodles around and yelling.  We’re doing just fine without all the chest thumping and testosterone fueled grunting at each other.  

“This seems like the perfect moment to assure the voting public that we are not running for office at the moment.  We are happy with our looks, with our careers, with our bank accounts and with our life choices.

“OK, with most of our life choices.

“You get the idea. We aren’t afraid to have our lives discussed in public.  We’re fine.  Gentlemen? Knock it off already.

“Thank you all for coming.”

Wouldn’t that be great?

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9 thoughts on “GOP News As It Should Be

  1. That would be great. If only ….

    I just read an article that you would appreciate — apparently, the GOP is ‘up in arms’ that they won’t be allowed to pack heat at the GOP convention. No guns allowed. Personally, I think we should let them have all the guns they want, put them in the arena and lock the doors until New Year’s.

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  2. ha! I’ve no doubt those two wives are much smarter than their hubbys.

    It’s so good to hear you’ve found another place to share your writing! Did you see tht Bernie won my state (Washington) by a landslide today?! Perhaps that little bird in Portland, OR was a good luck charm, after all!

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  3. Great news on the writing front. We are watching the election there in amazement. Good luck. I can’t imagine what will happen if Americans vote in trump.

    Like

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