First World Problems


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I am such a first world, spoiled, entitled old lady.

Truly.

I should just shut up. I should accept the fact that I am truly privileged. Honestly, I have a great life! My complaints are pointless, self-serving, and unworthy of a progressive, open minded woman like me.

But, jeez.

I mean, like, come on.

See, my husband and I saved up for years to buy a hot tub. The first time we had put away enough money, our furnace keeled over and died. There went the money.

So we saved again, slowly, month by month. Our backs hurt, our shoulders were getting achy, our necks were stiff. We really, really wanted a hot tub…..

At last! We had saved enough! Woohooooo!

Then we realized we needed a new roof.

Sigh. No nice steamy soaks before bed for us.

We saved again.

And then it happened. Do you hear angels singing?  Well, I sure as hell did.

We got our hot tub. It was glorious. It was rejuvenating, hypnotizing, enthralling. It was every multisyllabic word I can find.

I love my hot tub with a devotion that I have previously  shown only to my husband and kids. And on an icy night when I’ve been shoveling, I’m pretty sure I’d pick the hot tub over any of them.

Don’t judge.

I work hard every day. I garden, I shop, I cook, I lift a toddler.  I deserve my nightly soak. Right?

I have had my starlit late night soakie pretty much every single night for seven years. Ahhhhhhhhhh.

Then. It happened.

Two weeks ago, we sprung a leak. Oh, the horror!!! We called Hottub Man, and shut off the power.

And we waited. And waited. You see, spring is pool season, and the hot tub/pool company is very, very busy. We called. No call back. We waited. We consoled ourselves with hot showers, but it wasn’t the same.

Let me take a little side trip here, and tell you that poor old Nonni has been pruning bushes and trees, burning brush, dividing perennials, tilling, composting, raking, planting. Which means that Nonni’s back hurts. Her knees hurt. Her big old backside hurts. And her right arm is like one big, giant toothache that will not go away.

This is where my first world, entitled self bursts out and smacks me right in the kisser.

I’ve been good for the past two long, painful, sad, hottubless weeks. I haven’t complained. That much. I have had boo-boos and ouchies, but I haven’t had a tantrum.  Not a real, kicking and screaming tantrum.

I have been a brave, brave Nonni. Dealing silently with my pain. Oh, poor me…

Today, at last, Hottub Man came. I groveled a bit, and he fixed the leak. Angels sang, yet again!  Hot Tub! Oh, glorious, pain relieving hot tub! How I love thee!

But the power has been off for two weeks. So Hottub Man turned it on again, took my check and said bye-bye.

And I have spent the last four hours doing this.

Lift the cover and peek into the hot tub. 68 degrees. Sigh.  Wait.

Peek. 70 degrees.

Wait. Drink wine. Wait. Peek. 76 degrees.

Walk around. Grumble. Eat olives and cheese. Drink more wine. Peek. 80 degrees.

It’s almost 7 pm. At this rate, achy old Nonni will have to stay up until midnight just to soak herself in that glorious water.

Now don’t you feel sorry for me?  I mean, yes. This is most definitely a first world problem. But I have OUCHIES and BOO-BOOS!! And I want my hot tub!!!!

Excuse me. I need to peek.

Shit. 73 degrees.

I’ll be up all night if anyone needs me.

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19 thoughts on “First World Problems

  1. This made me smile! Picturing you continually opening it up to check the temperature. If you are up too late, make sure you have a life jacket on so you don’t fall asleep & slip under the jets!🤣

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  2. Have more wine, then you won’t care a bit, or at the very least you won’t remember how much you ache 🙂
    I remember when hot tubs were very popular, but for many reasons I never figured that I would use one. I rarely even get in a bathtub to soak. I just take some Aleve, drink some wine and go to bed, or moan loudly, which does no good at all.

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  3. Delightful story! Although I can’t relate. A hot tub came with our house and I couldn’t wait to have it removed. Having grown up abysmally poor and forced to bath in recycled tub water after others had gone before me has made bath tubs, hot tubs, and swimming pools the stuff of germ-swirling nightmares for me. Ha!

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    • I get it, I do! Before I had my very own, scrupulously clean and chlorinated to within an inch of poison hot tub, I was the same way! But this….? This is as close as I’ll ever get to a “beach house”! 8 more degrees…..

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  4. You made me feel so much better. All of my kids flew to Florida for Christmas last year and the heater on our jacuzzi broke days before they arrived. I was beside myself..I wanted everyone to be able to soak in there with their tropical libations..damn it 😡.. this was part of my ho-ho-holiday vision!! I was totally embarrassed to even be remotely upset considering the real problems that exist in the world..gave myself a reality check-kick-in the pants.. and let it go after a few hours of obsessing..(OK, a day of obsessing.) Believe it or not my hubby ordered a part on Amazon and it got there before the first kid arrived so it all worked out in the end. – ** PS, thanks for your comment on the post I wrote today..my daughter was unhappy that I shared her story and asked me to take it down, which I did. Just goes to show you the chilling effect all this is having..😒

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