Please, please help me! I am in a desperate situation. Desperate, I tell ya. DESPERATE.
I don’t know what to do, or where to turn. I can’t take it any more, and things are looking very very grim.
Please help me.
I must find a way to rid myself of the most dreaded ear worm in the history of hearing.
Here is my sad, sad story.
I am, you see, the caregiver and loving Nonni of a three year old girl. This means that I spend a lot of time brushing hair, making cookies, hugging, blah, blah, blah.
But here’s the problem: I spend WAYYYYYYY more time acting out the part of either Elsa or Anna from the Disney blockbuster “Frozen”. You know the one I mean. The one with all the lovely visual images, the sweet story of true love between sisters, the adorable reindeer, and all that other crap.
You know this story.
It’s the one with the epic song “Let It Go!” Which ranks right up there in the pantheon of brain stickiness with “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?” ‘
After roughly 12 straight weeks of watching “Frozen” every damn day, I am now about 4 seconds away from complete insanity.
Here, dear sympathetic readers, is a typical day in the life of Anna/Nonni:
Wake up at midnight from a little back pain. “Mmmm….comfy position….mmmmmm….”Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back any more-or-or….” NOOOOOOOO!!!! Eyes snap open, heart rate increases…..”NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Clamp eyes shut, start internal singing of the alto parts in Handel’s Messiah….fall asleep…… Wake up at 6 AM. “H’m….today is Monday, so today we need to…’Let it go!!!! Let it go!!!!!!” Roll over, shove pillow over head and into left ear…moan pitifully…Begin to sing “Born to Run” right out loud. Take shower while singing “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out” at the top of my lungs…..step out of shower…..”Do you wanna build a snowman????”
This goes on All. Day.
These songs are relentless. They have embedded themselves into my auditory system, where they are slowly chomping their way toward my cortex. They plan to overpower me. I feel it.
I feel the advance of the Frozen Earworm. I feel it! It’s coming for my soul!!! I don’t know where to turn!!!
But today, at last, I thought I might get a brief reprieve.
Today was the first day of our big bathroom renovation, and the house was full of big burly men with muscles and baseball caps and huge Dunkin Donuts coffee cups.
“Huh”, I thought to myself. “They will probably have a radio! It will probably be playing old Bon Jovi songs.” I smiled a little. I felt safe. These were obviously NOT Disney Princess types.
I let the men in with a sigh of relief, and got ready for the kids to arrive.
When Ellie and Johnny came in for the day, I introduced them to the big, manly builder people. I felt so….protected…you know? All was well. I felt almost smug in my sense of safety.
After breakfast, Ellie naturally asked to put on her blue Elsa dress and wanted to watch ‘the movie’. “Sure!” I said happily. “I’ll put it on!”
I still assumed that the manly men would be playing classic rock songs to scrub Disney right outta my cerebral neurons.
I’m an idiot.
Because here’s what actually happened.
Movie starts. Ellie begins to dance around in her blue Elsa dress, belting out the lyrics to every song.
Burly man #1: “Oh, so cute! Look at her! I have a six year old daughter and she loves this movie!”
Bulky muscle man #2: “I have two daughters! One is 13 and one is 11. Oh, I miss the days when they used to dance around in their Elsa dresses!” This one started to hum along with the music. I started to hyperventilate.
Manly worker dude #3: ” I have five kids! But only one daughter. This music really grabs you, doesn’t it?”
I was horrified. I felt so betrayed!
The music played. My earworm dug in even deeper. I am pretty sure I started to twitch.
I tried to relax. I started to hum Barley, by Birds of Chicago. I hummed really really loud. I stuck a finger in each ear and hummed some more.
When my heart rate returned to normal, I slowly withdrew my shaking fingers.
And this is what I heard, in three part dissonance from the men tearing apart my bathroom:
“Let the storm rage onnnnnn!!!!! The cold never bothered me anyway!!!!!”
You can’t count on anyone any more.
I am desperate.
And for the record, the cold ALWAYS bugs the hell out of me!!!!!
11 thoughts on “Must…Kill…Worm…”
For some reason, while taking the bar exam in 1976, I heard “It’s a Small World” all day.
Oh. man. I GET IT!
I have lived your world with Frozen as well. Life will progress, and new songs will fill your world. For some time it was the soundtrack to Trolls, with my favorite being “Hair UP!” which I still repeat often enough. The girls just give me an eye roll now. We are way beyond that. Now we must listen to the Kidz Bop version of “Shut Up & Dance” each morning, and with Christmas just around the corner, the 3 year old has not forgotten Sia with her endearing “Puppies are Forever…” All links included just in case you need to introduce Ellie to something new 🙂
Yeah, but you forget: I have already been through the Sesame St, Barnie, Alladin, Little Mermaid earworms of my kids’ days!!! I am just not as resilient now…….!!!!!
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Well, there’s always earplugs 😉
I wish I could help, but we burly manly men have been learning to embrace our inner princes. A baseball cap and a dunkin cup no long makes us immune to the joys of a child’s world.
The only suggestion I have is to ask burly men if you can help with the demolition or something. They’d love to teach you how to rip out a bathtub or knock down a wall or two. Great stress reliever that – sending a large hammer through walls.
If the men show up in blue dresses tomorrow, try to be understanding …
Hahahahaha!! So funny; I was watching every step. You have no idea how much I want to rip out a wall or something!!! These guys are just so kind and so sweet. Lugging huge pieces of wood and fiberglass up the stairs but checking the gate carefully every time.
No blue dresses today, alas….
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Haven’t TVs been known to go on the blink? Would they be savvy to it if you just pulled the plug? Time to dredge out Cinderella and let them see a classic. Grandmas get equal time.
The funny thing is, we are actually very careful about screen time. If the movie isn’t on, though, they sing the songs, they play Elsa and Anna….there’s no escape…..
dogs across the street have been barking for two hours straight!!! No plug to pull.
You are my star!!!!