Ok, fine. I am not really one of those “awards show” people. I mean, I haven’t ever seen all the movies nominated for Best Picture. I don’t know most of the Emmy nominees.
And as for the Grammys? Puh. Leeze. I am far too cool and hip and groovy to follow those pop stars.
But I suddenly find myself with the overwhelming desire to create a new category of award winners.
Because I spend WAY too much of my life ordering stuff online, and because I am also a dedicated environmentalist, I find myself enraged at plastic.
I go to my local grocery store once a week with my canvas bags. I put my veggies in mesh bags instead of plastic. I carefully choose milk and juice in cardboard cartons, detergents in biodegradable packages, and snacks in cardboard.
I use compostable trash bags, bamboo sandwich bags and metal water bottles that I fill myself.
I am a good doobie. I love this earth! I don’t want to kill her or her gorgeous oceans!
I am VERY careful about plastic.
Until I order on Amazon.
Then I lose my teeny tiny little mind. Because no matter what I buy, it comes in plastic.
No. Matter. What. It. Is.
For example, I was shopping for my grandchildren just before Easter. I saw cute little plastic eggs filled with pastel playdough. I decided to order them in spite of the plastic, thinking that I’d be able to reuse the eggs for years.
Then they arrived.
Four cute little plastic eggs. Each one wrapped in five or six layers of plastic shrink wrap, then carefully vacuum sealed within a hard plastic case.
It was FREAKIN’ PLAYDOUGH! It wasn’t going to rot. Or mold. Or degrade. The four ounces of pink and blue goop came enclosed in THREE layers of plastic.
Three layers of plastic that will remain intact for about 10 bazillion years.
Holy stupidity, humans.
Here I am. I am proposing a group endeavor. I’d like everyone who is reading this to nominate some company or item for our “BAD PLASTICS” Award.
I nominate the Playdough Easter eggs, but I could just as easily have brought up the plastic measuring spoons that came wrapped in plastic, the potting soil (aka, “dirt’) that came wrapped in plastic, or the eco friendly bamboo toilet paper that came wrapped in (you guessed it) plastic.
What have you got, fellow environmentalists? Let’s start our own “Awards Show”.