My Dad was a pretty typical father of the 50s, 60s and beyond. He went to work while Mom stayed at home with the six kids. He earned the money. He was the provider.
Dad came home every evening right around 6pm. Dinner was just about ready, and we were around the table. A drink was made, Dad took a sip, then settled down for dinner with the brood.
He was a good provider. He was a breadwinner.
But that isn’t what I remember tonight, as I think about Father’s Day and what my Dad meant to me.
What I remember about my Dad was that he made things.
Just for fun, just for a sense of creativity, my Dad made things.
When I was a very little girl, he made pancakes. He did it every Saturday morning while encouraging my Mom to sleep in a bit. Dad would get up with all of us, and he’d make batch after batch of pancakes. We’d eat them up while watching “The Little Rascals” on tv.
As I got older, Dad made things like shelves, and picture frames and other small wooden items. On the weekend, Dad would go down to his workshop in the garage, where he’d make step-stools and Confirmation Crosses and bookshelves.
After his retirement, Dad made more decorative items, just for fun. My parents had a beautiful in-ground pool, and Dad made planters for the flowers that Mom placed around the patio.
When my family was young, and settling into our first and only home, Dad helped my husband to build a shed to store the garden tools.
Dad isn’t here with us anymore. He went on to the next step back in 2008.
But tonight, as we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day without being able to hug our kids, I am thinking of my Dad and of his legacy of creation.
I’m thinking a lot about the fact that although I am his daughter, I don’t really take after my Dad. I don’t know how to hammer a nail or saw a board or make a shed. I’m not good at math, the way that he was. I don’t have Dad’s sense of detail and his ability to create logical, sequential plans. That skill is shared by my sister, but not by me.
That thought made me a little bit sad today.
Then I took a walk around my garden. And I thought a bit.
Maybe I’m stretching it, maybe I’m making it up, but it seems to me that in a different sense, I do share Dad’s ability to “make things.”
I have made a garden out of a yard that was once completely wild. Slowly, step by step, blossom by blossom, I have turned my wild property into a pretty, fragrant, welcoming space.
Making something out of nothing is perhaps a skill, or a desire, that I do share with my Dad.
Maybe the bread that I make from my own sourdough starter is a way for me to create something, too.
What I know is that I miss my Dad. I miss his smile, his humor, his hugs. I even miss his rigid sense of right and wrong. I miss his love. I miss the things that he made out of nothing.
So tomorrow morning I will walk in my garden. I’ll salute my Dad as I admire the coreopsis growing in the goose planter that he built. I’ll take a lawn chair out of the shed that he built in our yard.
And I’ll water the wild roses and irises and herbs that I have planted here in what was once a piece of woodland.
I’ll think of my Dad and I’ll treasure the small ways in which I am like him.