And still be decent human beings.
So I have to say, I have very strong feelings about abortion. I am the mother of three, and I spent several years desperately trying to have a baby.
As a fertility patient, I learned a lot about the desperation to reproduce that motivates so many of us. I shared that desperation. I have spent far too many hour gazing into my bathroom mirror and wondering, “why am I not worthy of becoming a mother?”
And I understand the power and importance of a brand-new pregnancy, and how profoundly it changes a woman. One of the saddest moments of my life was when I suffered the miscarriage of a 14 week baby who I had wanted and cherished, although I had not planned to create.
Like a lot of people who oppose abortion, I cringe at the thought of stopping a beating heart.
But here is where my ideas differ drastically from those who believe that demonizing and criminalizing the behavior of desperate women is the way to stop abortion.
I believe that if this country truly wanted to limit the number of aborted fetuses, it would turn its focus toward prevention of those unwanted pregnancies.
You know, sort of like the fact that if we really want to stop the Covid virus, we’ll focus on preventing illness rather than on treating it once it happens.
Stopping the out of control train us a lot better than standing in front of it as it hurtles toward us, right?
If the people who support the draconian, authoritarian, backwards thinking law that just passed in Texas REALLY want to stop abortion, here is how they can do it without turning their neighbors into a bunch of vigilantes.
- Invest a shit load of money into developing safe, effective, easy to use contraceptives. I mean, seriously…..you want to stop unwanted pregnancies? Go out there and find a way to do that!!! One for men, one for women, and LOOKIE. No more babies that weren’t wanted.
- Make that contraception free, available, and easy to use. If you REALLY want to stop abortion, you’ll make contraception as easy to get as….oh, I don’t know….a GUN? Or a cup of coffee? Or a bottle of ibuprofen. Get that stuff out there, and get it into the hands of every fertile young thing on the ranch. Bam. Done.
- Provide health insurance to EVERYONE. You know, so that every single young woman and young man can go to a DOCTOR and ask the key questions about fertility. And so they can get their contraception, get fitted for that IUD, get the safest pill……Stop making a lack of insurance mean a lack of contraception.
- Hold. Men. Accountable. If your partner conceives, buddy, YOU are on the hook to provide economic support from the first day of the first missed period. No more “boys will be boys” crap here. If you shoot your gun, you own the result.
- Provide state funded support for prenatal care, perinatal care, childcare and aftercare and adoption support and counseling after giving birth. NOT kidding here: we can’t ask women to shoulder the emotional, physical and financial burdens of childbirth without offering every possible alternative to abortion. Not if we REALLY want to end abortion.
Between you and me, I would love to see a day when abortion was a very rare choice for pregnant woman. Between you and me, I would love to see a day when women are supported throughout their pregnancies with physical and mental health care. I would love to see a time when every woman had a choice about when to have a baby, and when every single baby was guaranteed health care, a safe place to live and a family with community support.
To do anything less than these simple steps is simply an attack on the autonomy and freedom of woman. To demand that women carry pregnancies to term, without the necessary supports, is a clear statement in support of government tyranny.
If you REALLY want to halt abortions, put aside your attacks on women, and start demanding decent universal healthcare that includes ALL parts of contraceptive and family planning.