My husband is a very good human. He is kind, thoughtful, gentle. Pretty much everyone likes him.
Paul was a shy and quiet child, but grew into himself as an adult. He’s a constant surprise to old friends who knew him way back in High School, because he’s now the most social one of all of us.
Now that he is an outgoing, confident adult (and a successful and well respected psychologist), he has begun to articulate what it is that makes him reach out to strangers.
“It’s all about the connections,” he tells me. “Life is about making connections with other human beings.”
I know that he’s right, but I am not always as open or as non-judgmental as he is. Still, I try to be open. I try to greet people with a smile and a welcome.
Today that attitude paid off for me, as I made a lovely connection in the most unexpected of ways.
I was shopping at my favorite guilty secret bargain store, Ocean State Job Lot. I went in for a few small items, but as usual, I was pulled in by the seed packets, the bubble wands and the plants. I was on my way home from a visit to my mother, and was thinking a lot about my childhood. I was feeling a little emotional as I went into the store.
I picked up everything I needed (or could justify to myself), including a pot of dianthus and one of lupine. I love both of these perennials, and mine are in need of reinforcements. So I plopped them into my cart and continued through the store.
When I got to the checkout, there was a bit of a line. I waited my turn, noticing the young man behind me who was talking on his phone with a work colleague.
I’ll be honest. I noticed him first, in my creepy old grandmother way, because he was very good looking. Southeast Asian, I thought, perhaps from Vietnam or Cambodia. Tall, slim, dark haired, with wide, light brown eyes that contrasted with his darker skin.
He had a tattoo on one wrist, and a sharp spike piercing his lower lip.
My turn came at the register, and the young cashier rang up all of my many, many items. She got the skin cream, the candy, the seeds, the olive oil, the potting soil and the potted dianthus.
Then she turned to the lupine. She spun the planter, and frowned. There was no price tag.
“What is this?”, she asked. When I answered with the name of the flower, she shook her head. She was looking at her list of items for sale, and the plants were not labelled by name. They were labelled by size.
“It’s a perennial” I said, looking over her shoulder. “But I don’t know if its a quart or a 6 1/2″ pot.” This seemed like a meaningless comparison to me. Quart? Versus inches? What?
The cashier was confused, so she called her manager. He had no more idea of what to think than we did. We all looked at each other blankly.
That’s when the man behind me leaned forward.
“This is a 6 1/2 in pot. It should be this price.” He reached forward to tap the page that we were all looking at.
I was delighted. What could have taken ten minutes had been reduced to one small, simple comment.
“Thank you so much!” I said with a smile. A real smile. Not a ‘I should be friendly’ smile.
He smiled back.
“Well, I work in a garden center,” he said.
As my transaction was finishing, I thanked him again, then told him that I wished I had more time to ask him for advice, because my gardening dreams are always more successful than my gardening realities. We both laughed, I thanked him again, and headed out to my car.
As I was putting my toys, makeup, and food into my car, the same man came out of the store and headed my way.
Wouldn’t you know that the universe had arranged for us to park next to each other?
The man held out his phone to me. “This is my greenhouse,” he said with pleasure. I looked at the image of the wide, bright, beautiful array of plants. What struck me was his pride in his work.
“It’s gorgeous!” I said with all sincerity.
We started to chat about his work, and I asked where it was located. It turns out that he is one of many growers at a garden center that I have known my whole life.
“My parents always got their plants from your garden center!” I told him with surprised pleasure. “I love it there!”
The young man smiled and nodded at the compliment. “It’s beautiful. We grow so much there, all year!”
Then he opened his trunk.
“This is what I grow,” he said with pride. He beckoned me over and we looked into the trunk of his car. Tomatoes, peppers, squash and four beautiful flower plants.
We talked for a few more minutes. I asked him for advice on how to get my lupines to reseed. He talked about the personalities and needs of different plants, and advised me to get to know each one.
And then he reached into his trunk and pulled out one of his beautiful young plants.
“For you,” he said, “If you want this sunflower.”
I tried to refuse, but only weakly. “Oh, I can’t take that from you!”
“I want you to have it,” he said. “This was a nice meeting.”
I took the sunflower baby, and I was filled with such happiness.
“You have made my day,” I said to him. “Thank you so very much!”
“Thank you!” he answered. “Good bye!”
We didn’t exchange names. We’ll never run into each other again. But just by chance, we were able to connect to another human being who shared our love of plants and our desire to reach out and just be pleasant to each other.