Feeling Way Too Judgy


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You know, I really do love Facebook.  Getting back in touch with old friends from decades past, chatting with people across the globe, sharing jokes, seeing what everyone had for dinner.

It’s all good, right?

The only problem is, now that I have Facebook, I am finding myself even more judgy than I used to be.

I mean, I’ve always been opinionated. I’ve always had strong ideas.  But I used to be able to at least listen to other people’s opinions! I used to be able to think about other points of view.

Back in the old days, I had to actually have a conversation with someone before deciding that I was morally superior to them.

Now? I can pass judgement on family and friends in five seconds, just by looking at the most recent memes.  A red paper cup?  Let me at ’em! MY view of the red paper cup is the superior view!!!!

Syrian refugees?  I just have to scan someone’s quickly written status and I am ready to label them as cold hearted, unloving, mean spirited poopie heads.   I am so morally and ethically superior, because I have a different reaction to the immigrant crisis!

Never mind the fact that I know full well that some of the people with whom I disagree are kind, generous, thoughtful and giving.  Never mind the fact that I completely understand that each of our individual reactions to events in the world are colored and shaped by our personal experiences.

And never mind the fact that I have never had an actual refugee family knocking on my door and asking for safety.

Facebook lets me instantaneously judge.

Maybe some of the power of this new social media is that it allows us to feel so good about ourselves as we look with scorn at others in our newsfeed.

Who knows?

All I know is that I am not a prophet, or a seer, or a saint.  I am not better than the people who come to different conclusions than mine.

And maybe, just maybe, if other people out there can take off those silly black robes and really listen, we’ll all be a little bit safer.

Pardon my political rant


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Pardon me, I beg you.

I completely understand the fact that I have become a sweet, docile Nonni, the chubby old lady who rocks her darling Ellie to sleep and gives her a bottle and walks her around this bucolic country neighborhood.

I have sworn to myself that I will step back from the political activist world, (in my blogging at least). I will hold my tongue. I will not use words like “liberal” or “conservative” or utter the D or R labels.  I have sworn to be non-partisan, but today’s events have overruled my very best intentions.

Paris is under siege at this very moment. Paris: the City of Lights.  The City of Lovers.  Isis is bombing, shooting and holding hostages. The war between the west and Isis has come to a place that is known for its gentle hospitality, its love of wine and music, its embrace of the arts.

The world has come to a very, very dangerous place.

I will absolutely not make any attempt to explain how this has happened.  I will not weigh in at all on any foreign policy issue that may or may not have lead us to this terrible place.

I am not a military person. I am not a diplomat. I can make my ill informed guesses about the middle East, but I am smart enough to know that I do not truly have anything to say on this subject.

How to stop this type of terrorism is a question that is simply far, far beyond my feeble areas of expertise.

But here is what I do feel duty bound to write:  I believe that it is incredibly important for me to acknowledge the limits of my knowledge.

I believe that it is incredibly important for us, as Americans, to elect a President who can also recognize the limits of his/her expertise.  I believe that we have a serious duty to elect a President who IS in fact an expert of international relations and international law. Or at the very least, we must elect someone who will listen to those who are true experts on this incredibly convoluted matters.

Right now, at this moment in time, I am the mother of three young adults and the grandmother of one fragile little girl.  I want them all to live in a world where peace is a possibility, no matter how faint.  A place where reason has at least a chance to triumph over bombast.

And this is why I must write this post.

I am absolutely horrified and sickened by the words of Donald Trump, a man who seems to truly believe that he is an expert on every topic in every area.  This is a man who believes that he is capable of single handedly solving every complex problem that faces the entire world.

And how would Mr. T solve all of these deep and complicated problems?  To quote the man himself, although I am very reluctant to do so, he would “bomb the shit out of them.”

This is a man who finds it acceptable to call people “stupid”, “fat”, “ugly”.  He routinely uses simplistic and meaningless words like “nice” and “crap” and “OK”.

This is a man who truly believes himself to be smarter than anyone else on earth. He truly believes that he can bully and insult his way to world leadership.

Tonight, as I sit here watching the terrible news unfolding from Paris, I am very very afraid.

But let me be very clear: I am more afraid of how the world will look if Donald Trump become President than I am of terrorists striking a major European city.

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If you reading this, and you are a Trump supporter, can you please try to explain to me what it is that you see in this man?  What is it that makes you believe that he would be a reasonable and thoughtful world leader?